I Love You.
March 10, 2003
This morning I sense God healing my mind. It was being manifested through a dream of what might have been. All the principles laid out but set in another stage. You at University rather than work. 4 or 5 years earlier. Same result. What was shown to me though was the principles and teachings about relationships that I had taught You. The reasons and things I had taught You. The “why” of Your “Thank you for the lessons that you’ve taught me.”
I taught You the principles in locating a positive marriage relationship and at the same time broke those principles. The times I put up my defenses and lashed out at You when I thought You were trying to manipulate me, I was being scrutinized by You. Tested.
Even I would have failed me for my lack of patience, for my lack of love. Yes, I did have opportunity to turn things around. I always had, but my pride and loss of critical evaluation concerning myself stopped me. I was distracted by school, games, church and depression. Next time – if there is a next time – drop things and focus.
Two things help me to know that God had a hand in our separation though. The Friday that the pastor of the Taiwan church told me I didn’t have to come, was the same Friday You told me You were intoxicated and came to fellowship.
If I had been there that Friday, I know I would have been the one to bring You home. We would have found a way back into relationship.
Yes, as would we have become a couple again if I have just kept phoning You. But that never happened. I didn’t know up from down. Yet I know I Love You today.
Daily Heart's Breath 