The Presence

I Love You. There is no denying it. You are a part of me. And I lost a part of myself to You. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott write that divorce [or break up] doesn’t completely sever all attachments between ex[‘s]. And if … you lost your loving partner in another tragedy, you will contend with his or her presence in your new marriage. Guaranteed. That’s the price we pay for meaningful human relationships. Your presence has been with me some 14 years. It will continue to be. There were times when I wanted it gone. Anger was useful, but I came to understand and forgave. Wanting someone to kill me often crossed my mind. I was too consumed with You to think of a way doing it myself. Distractions were the most accessible and denial sometimes worked. Then when I chose honesty, You were right there with me. It does either one of us good to deny this truth. I accept that You are here in all the moments I remember you. Accept that we are apart and that weighs heavy on my heart. But I will become stronger so that I can carry You. I will ask God for help to do so. I Love You.